Kahaani, 2012: review, almost.

The thing I liked most about Kahaani were the Ray references. "Running hot water", genius citation, the man working on the face of Durga, subtle. Vidya at the window, following the truck down the street, as cloistered, as much of a stranger to that world as Charulata to the world outside her home.

The thing I liked the least, the last scene. Vidya's back story seemed a bit trite for a film that was otherwise constructed so tightly. Or maybe it wasn't the story that was trite but the presentation of it. Too prosaic, too simple for a film with a plot that was coiled so tight.

Among other things, as expected I loved the South Cal setting. Also, the vernacular, no exaggerated Bangali Hindi but just the sort of gender-confused Hindi we speak anyway, easy and fluid transitions between Bangla, Hindi and English.

Sweeney Among The Peacocks

"Selfish" is the worst that Sweeney's self directed early morning stream of invective can deliver. Though this does lead him on to worse thoughts about himself; "deluded" and "self righteous"? Still, not with the same truth and clarity as "selfish", those are not things he realises about himself but he pronounces that judgement on himself as  a pre-emptive strike against himself, second guessing what other people might say. "Because surely", he thinks, "selfish cannot be the worst thing I am, surely I am worse".

"Impatient", he thinks, "yes, thats a good one". But impatience is not a vice, is it?
"I talk a lot about myself, whats a good word for that? Self absorption?" But he can't put that down either because he owes it to his silent twenties, the seething quiet of his teenage years, that positively mute first decade, to be vocal, verbose, voluble, garrulous. Genetics, he puts it down to blood and cells - organic programming, though the easy charm of his progenitors is in him replaced with abrupt taciturnity.

He writes, "God keep me from using fake laughter against those who argue against me. God save me from using levity to belittle those to whom I can offer no counter-argument. God save me from uncomfortable laughter to fill in spaces. God preserve my sense of humour from the pitfalls of social interactions where people laugh when they have nothing to say, when conversations are dead. God keep me from belittling laughter this way."

More inanity, no poetic thoughts.

After several months of moaning about having turned over a new leaf and being hard working/ efficiencient (ok, not so much)/ waking up early/ disciplined, I have finally regresssed into my old, familiar, comforting bum self. Here I am, no bath today or yesterday, some impending deadlines, broke (but not for long), smoking cheap cigarettes, not working, wasting time.

 Feels awesome, if a little forced. 

Here is a most lyrical essay that I'm reading for class. On Khwaja Khizr, the Green Saint, by Coomaraswamy.

Khwaja Khadir and the Fountain of Life

good kid

Its wonderful how three days of waking up at 9, eating breakfast, suryanamaskar, oil massage and hot bath can make seven years of waking up late and never eating breakfast completely unacceptable. Another day wasted this week. Hot water gone, sun gone, motivation gone. I really need to buckle down and get to work, all kinds of work; reading work, work-work, life work. I hate being indoors and on my own, some of it is because its really so nice to be out in the sun. Okay so, having started my day three hours late, I will try to carry on as usual and since I've wasted precious productive time in sleeping, I will sacrifice my non-productive part of the day (ie, evening) to reading Epigrahia Indo-Moslemica and the Humayun Nama.

I am bored, but I can't remember being bored in the last one year, so I suppose its a good thing. Woke up early-ish (by my standards, of course) and spent the day lounging in bed under my quilt. I have things to do; reading for class next week, wirk to complete for work, an opening I should go to, a party I want to go to. Tuesday is too early to read for today, work is boring so I'm doing it in bits and pieces spread out over the day, opening is far and party begins at nine so I think I'll ditch.

Meanwhile, books to read, Arrested Developement to watch.

Drawing chevrons freehand is difficult. I'm making a frame for my mirror with drawing paper (because its stuck to the wall with scotch tape and it looks ugly and its FINALLY sunny today and I feel like some nice non-studying activity) and I love chevrons.

Lovely sunny day today, went on a long walk, well, I had to, otherwise I would still be in bed. Bed clothes, cigarettes, ipod. I love days when it shuffles intelligently to songs that are happy and smile inducing.